Dr Ruth Westheimer shares sex tips for men 50+ in new interview
At 93, Dr Ruth Westheimer is ‘thrilled’ that people still come to her for sex advice – and as we learned in a recent interview with the legendary sex therapist, author and media personality, she’s just as happy. to continue to provide it. . Threatened by your partner’s vibrator? “Stop analyzing. Use whatever feels good,” she says over the phone from her New York apartment. Are you unsure about your smaller than average penis? Loud and clear, Dr Ruth says: size doesn’t matter. âNeed a steamy new sexual fantasy to get you in the mood? Read on, she covers that one too.
During the pandemic, Westheimer updated one of his 45 (!) Books, The art of excitement, with new entries on erotic art throughout history. Speaking of Covid and quarantine, she is adamant that she doesn’t want to “dwell on the bad times”.
“Be happy that we are alive!” Said Westheimer, a Holocaust survivor who escaped Nazi Germany via Kindertransport at the age of 10, and who later joined the Haganah, a Jewish paramilitary organization, where she trained as a sniper and fought in the 1948 Arab-Israeli War. She explicitly asks me to put an exclamation mark at the end of his quote.
In the last installment of Men’s health 20 Questions, the incomparable Dr.Ruth (seriously, her life has been turned into an Off-Broadway play) talks about sex after 50, human anatomy, sexual fantasies, and more.
1) What’s your best sex tip for men in their 50s and over?
They should have sex in the morning when testosterone levels are highest. After a good night’s sleep, he should go out, use the bathroom, have some breakfast, not a big one, and go back to bed. If he sleeps with men or women, his testosterone level is highest in the morning. Older people should get used to having sex in the morning.
2) What sex positions do you recommend for older men and their partners?
Any position that suits them! But make sure that if it’s a woman they are having sex with, the woman should make sure that she uses lubricant. They should never, ever have sex with a poorly lubricated vagina, because it’s painful, and then she’ll say, “It hurts.” Who needs it? ‘ [Laughs.] This is the most important suggestion.
3) What are your other suggestions for older couples?
If sex is too hard, it doesn’t matter. Make sure you satisfy each other. Either oral sex, if that’s what you practice, or with your hand. Or just work against each other. This is true for men with men and men with women.
And sex with other people doesn’t have to be simultaneous. This can be satisfying for one, then the next day satisfying the other. It doesn’t have to be at the same time. It is a misunderstanding of sex in the elderly.
4) Do you think couples should set schedules for sex?
No schedules, but they should make sure that if one wants more sex than the other, the partner is satisfied.
5) What do you do if one partner is really into something the other person is not?
So forget about it!
6) Is there a time when a couple should separate because their desires or sexual urges are too different?
No. Forget that. Don’t put negative things in [the interview].
7) Let me put it in a more positive way. What should a couple do if they have completely different sex drives?
They should go see a sex therapist. Sometimes they’re mad at something about the partner – maybe about the stepmom – that has nothing to do with sex, but plays into their sexual relationship.
8) What is your favorite thing about being a sex expert right now?
I’m glad I’m still being asked questions, and I’m very happy to answer them.
9) You have over 100,000 followers on Twitter. Do you answer questions from people there?
No, no, no, I’m not answering questions there. On Twitter, we just posted some interesting information. (I speak, and [my publicist] put him on Twitter … I don’t know computers, but I speak well.) And I don’t do private practice anymore. I let the younger ones do that. But I did enough to be able to do interviews for Men’s health magazine.
10) When couples want to experiment with sex toys, which products do you recommend?
There is a vibrator; it’s called Eroscillator. It was created by a Swiss scientist [Philippe Wood] who is no longer alive; it’s the same guy who [invented the] electric toothbrush. I immediately thought, hallelujah! Anyone who can invent the electric toothbrush can invent an electric vibrator!
11) Wow, it really looks exactly like an electric toothbrush.
Law? I tell everyone. That made me laugh. I have never approved any vibrator. I’m just saying, ‘Use it.’ I don’t know any men who love vibrators. We need to do a survey with your magazine.
12) Sometimes men get nervous when their partners want to use a vibrator because they feel like their partner chooses the vibrator over them.
So we have to say: Stop analyzing. Use whatever is nice. This is my advice.
13) I was also wondering what is your best advice for men who think their penis is too small.
I will say: Stop. In my documentary, I say that men should stop looking at each other in the shower. Any man who worries that his penis is too small, first of all, says loud and clear: size doesn’t matter. Here is what he should do [next]: Get to an erection, stand in front of a full-length mirror and see what the partner sees, whether it is a man or a woman. Because then the penis looks a lot bigger than if you look down.
14) That’s good advice!
Loud and clear, Dr Ruth says: Size doesn’t matter. If it’s a tiny penis, go see a urologist.
15) What in the world of sex are you happy about when people change their mind?
You can give Cosmopolitan a plug. They did a poll â not a scientifically validated poll, but a big poll â that the G-spot doesn’t exist. I jump for joy at this survey.
16) What’s your favorite thing about Cosmos story?
I’m jumping for joy because for years I’ve been saying, ‘Stop looking for the G-spot’. We don’t know if there is such a thing.
17) For all those people obsessed with finding the elusive G-spot … what should they focus on instead?
Here is what I suggest. Stop looking at the G spot, which probably doesn’t exist. Then use your brain to engage in wonderful fantasies. Men and women: develop pretty fantasies, so as not to worry about the G-spot or the size of the penis.
18) When you have a sexual fantasy, how do you know if there is something you should actually try in real life?
I think most fantasies should stay a fantasy. Because if you try it, very often you will be disappointed.
19) Are there any exceptions?
Here is a fantasy I used during the pandemic. I’ll give it to you. I am now 93 years old. I don’t ski anymore. However, in my fantasy, I’ll take my fanciest ski outfit, and I’ll take the prettiest ski instructor on the slopes. And he must come with his skimobile. I would sit in the skimobile, ride up and down the mountain in the skimobile. And it worked. The fantasy has remained a fantasy.
You don’t have to share a fantasy, but I was ready to share it with Men’s health magazine.
20) Thank you! I appreciate it. Speaking of your pandemic fantasies – and feel free not to respond – what role did sex play in your life during your 40s?
I don’t want to talk about that, because I mean be happy we’re alive, and don’t dwell on the bad times we’ve all had!
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