Funny Words And Euphemisms For Masturbation
We all remember the days of our teenage years when we started into the realm of masturbation. Some of us were excited to experiment while others were so shy that we had our own slangs to address the supposedly forbidden deeds amongst friends?
Jack off? Jill off? Hand shandy? Wanking? Silly sentences, right?
Now that we have grown up, the act of self-pleasuring doesn’t seem so forbidden anymore and the euphemism for masturbation has only become more creative with time. The millennial slang is full of fun and funny euphemisms for masturbation.
After all, why should Jack and Jill alone get so much importance.
From fruits like cucumbers and bananas becoming phallic in reference to foods like cookies and cupcakes symbolizing vaginas when put in a sexual context, here are 15 silly words for masturbation that you must start using if you don’t feel comfortable using the word masturbation.
I mean, for fun’s sake, let’s try this!
Slangs For Male Masturbation
Steer clear those dozen of gross words for male masturbation from your vocabulary and use these bizarre ones instead.
1. DIY – Do it yourself
Pretty straightforward, DIY means exactly what it stands for — do it yourself. DIY in the new Gen-Z lingo can mean the act of self-stimulation.
Basically, your happiness is in your own hands and one must do anything that it takes to make themselves happy. Even if it means using a little lube to enhance that pleasure.
2. Debug your hard drive
This phrase is particularly popular with the techies and computer geeks. It’s like debugging your hard drive from time to time can ensure more focus and better productivity at work.
3. Charming the snake
Animal and fruit imagery has always surrounded male masturbation and so charming your snake is a legit way to say that you are busy self-pleasuring.
4. Spanking the monkey
Spanking the monkey is another expression used for masturbation that has an animal reference attached to it. It’s predictable but punny.
5. Pocket pinball
If your hand just slides into your pocket only to realize a few moments later that you are already at it, you may be doing what it is called ‘pocket pinball.’ It is a slang word for fondling with your penis through your pockets, usually when you are bored or daydreaming.
6. Making the bald man cry
Making the bald man cry or making the bald man puke is a fun euphemism for saying that you are busy stroking your genitals, addressing your penis as the bald man.
7. Oozing your noodle
Most of us are familiar with the idiom ‘use your noodle’ which means ‘use your head’ or ‘try again.’ However, the millennials often also use the slang phrase oozing your noodle which means to masturbate. Noodle is often used to refer to a flaccid penis, so now you can connect the dots and decipher what oozing your noodle really means.
Slang Words For Female Masturbation
Guys it’s 2022 and women have an equal number of fun and fab euphemisms for masturbation like the dudes. Here are some hilarious expressions for female masturbation that girls can use to nickname their little ‘me time’.
8. Shiko Shiko Manzuri, Japanese
Firstly, it’s amazing that this literally translates into ‘10,000 rubs’ in Japanese. It’s even better when paired with its male equivalent, senzuri, which means ‘a thousand rubs’. And 10,000 rubs later what we have is a ‘happy ending’ of Shiko Shiko Manzuri.
Procasturbating is a hybrid between procrastination and masturbating. If you happen to find yourself daydreaming about your crush and end up mastubating during the afternoon, parking your work aside for sometime, you are literally procrasturbating.
10. Downstairs DJ
Downstairs is a cool code word for your nether regions. And downstairs DJ means spinning your private parts to your own tunes and rhythm till you reach an orgasm.
11. Being Your Own Boss
Being your own boss means being in-charge, taking your own decisions and not having anyone tell you what to do. In the context of female masturbation it means exactly the same thing, being in-charge of what excites you and gives you pleasure.
12. Touching up your lip gloss
Another silly expression for female masturbation is touching up your lip gloss. It basically means to self-stimulate your vagina till you orgasm and gloss things up down there.
13. Making soup
Just like how the process of making soup makes you get all sweaty, ‘making soup’ is a slang phrase for female masturbation which means getting increasingly wet as you self-pleasure and arouse yourself.
14. Saucing the taco
It might sound really weird but the expression, ‘saucing the taco’ is often used for female masturbation. The next time you want to ask your girlfriend if she enjoys masturbating, you can simply go like, ‘hon how often do you sauce the taco?’
15. Girls’ night in
If you plan to just stay at home on a Friday night and watch a romantic show, sip some wine and self-stimulate yourself to sleep, you can simply say ‘I plan to have a girl’s night in’. Just you and your vag.
Hope you feel enlightened enough to arm your vocabulary with cool slang phrases for masturbation to use in front of your friends.
Do you have your own terms or code words for masturbation? Flex it in the comments below.