Good sex can all boil down to good communication – how well you and your partner can express your needs and wants. Often, however, women simply don’t have the words to describe what they like or don’t have enough experience to suggest other techniques. In order to facilitate dialogue on sexual intimacy, a study published on April 14, 2021 in PLoS One reported on a national survey conducted by Indiana University in conjunction with the OMGYES / For Goodness Sake research group that examined the sexual experiences of thousands of American women to find out what made vaginal penetration more pleasurable for them.

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Four ways to get heightened sexual arousal

After analyzing the results of an international qualitative study, the researchers Devon J. Hensel, PhD, associate research professor at Indiana University School of Medicine in Indianapolis, and Christiana von Hippel, ScD, OMGYES researcher, found a recurring pattern of four specific techniques that had never really had words to describe them before. The team then took a closer look at these four techniques using a national online and cross-sectional probability survey of 3,017 American women aged 18 to 93.

“We delved deeper into the patterns to find out the percentage of women who used each technique during vaginal penetration, and then we looked at how those specific techniques affected their pleasure,” says Dr. von Hippel. In other words, they looked at specific sexual movements and the methods that activated them.

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Researchers have given terms for each of these sexual methods to help women identify and communicate what is best for them.

• Angling Rotating, raising or lowering the pelvis and hips during penetration to adjust the place inside the vagina where the toy or penis rubs; 87 percent of respondents used this method.
• Pairing A woman or her partner stimulates her clitoris with a finger or a sextoy at the same time as the penetration. (69 percent)
• Rocking The base of a penis or sex toy constantly rubs against the clitoris during penetration, staying completely inside the vagina rather than pushing in and out. Usually used when the woman is on top. One respondent explained its appeal: “We had to ‘unlearn’ the fast movements that we had seen in porn. And we are both much more satisfied with our new methods. “(76%)
• Shallow Touch penetrating just inside the entrance to the vagina. Another respondent said: “I think this area is really underrated. I can have really amazing sex with only an inch penetration and never more. (84 percent)

Using language for sexual techniques is Powerful

“I think naming the pleasure and pleasure techniques is particularly empowering and usable, so that women can feel comfortable and confident using them with partners. They are also important when women are discussing their sex life with friends, like “I like this, why don’t you try this?” Being able to specifically describe what they like and being able to ask for it is incredibly empowering and helps women feel heard. There is also a normalizing effect when they realize that what they like is a role model shared by many women, ”says von Hippel.

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Dr von Hippel adds that having language also allows women to be flexible and to describe what they want at the moment. “What you enjoy can change in the middle of a sexual experience, and that can change over the course of your life. Having that big menu or repertoire of words and techniques that you can pull off is great, because then it’s not a question of “I’m a loving woman, either.” X“. It could be “I am a woman who enjoys pairing in this context and shallow in this context and angling at this age. Women can feel confident in communicating and mingling and matching. “

A step forward in sexual pleasure education for women

When Lou Paget, a certified sex educator with the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, heard about this new study, her first response was, “Finally! It’s time!

Paget went on to explain, “I’ve heard women describe this stuff in my seminars for years, but there’s really no indication as to how you do it. The main reason for this is that most research has always focused on the response of the penis, vagina, and men.

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Even though both partners are women, they may not both have the language to communicate their needs to each other. These words open that door.

Partners can also learn to please others

Paget also points out that the main question most men ask him is, how can he make things more enjoyable for his partner? “Men are so hungry for what they can do to make their partner feel good. They like her more if she likes him more. Having language that can quickly describe what she likes also gives them power, ”says Paget, who is also the author of five books on sexuality, including Orgasms.

Clitoral stimulation is the key

Paget notes that all four techniques are related to stimulation of the clitoris at the same time. “It shouldn’t shock any woman. For the most part, vaginal penetration is not the most satisfying. It can be nice to feel fulfilled and connected to a partner. But it’s the shallow, the sway; these are all things that women have always done that give them extreme pleasure, ”she emphasizes.

Again, it’s important for men to know this as well. “They’ve been fed misinformation from mainstream society and watching unrealistic porn, where women usually get their pleasure from penetration. Men also need to learn the importance of clitoral stimulation, ”she adds.

Experiment with sex toys that work with specific techniques

When you find out what you love, sex toys can help you achieve it on your own or with a partner. Tatyana Dyachenko, sex coach at online sex shop Peaches and Screams, reveals which types of toys work best with each technique.

For fishing Sex swings allow the woman to rotate, raise or lower her pelvis on the penetrating element to allow maximum pleasure.

For pairing A mini silicone vibrator stimulates your clitoris during penetration; A strap-on facial dildo allows your partner to penetrate you while using their tongue to stimulate the clitoris.

To swing Raised ribbed “cock” sleeve with clitoral stimulator and vibrator works for both sides: it helps thicken and support the penis for firmer erections, and the female partner can rub against the clitoral stimulator while being penetrated . Or, a vibrating clitoral stimulator provides direct stimulation.

For shallow Vibrating balls or eggs are inserted just inside the vagina without the need for deep penetration.

More research on sexual pleasure is needed

This survey did not ask female partners for their opinion, which the team hopes to examine in the future. Von Hippel says: “What is often very interesting is how the communication goes, how the names of the techniques are used and how the partners feel about it. OMGYES has heard couples or just men say that it really changed the way they are able to connect and communicate, and he feels like he understands it more. For the first time, even though they may have been together in 20 years, something finally clicked having those words and reviewing the techniques together. Now they know there is always new things to explore, and the details of what makes him feel good and how he can support her.

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